JBrown: My Commitment to Service

Yesterday we had a common session at the Peace Corps headquarters, which ended with a moving activity called Commitment to Service. Anyone who felt inclined to do so could offer their feelings on why they are committed to serving for 2 years in Guatemala. It was an hour laden with heavy motions, and I feel lucky to be part of such a great group of people. 45 of us started this training process, and 45 of us will be swearing in tomorrow during a ceremoy where we will be declared official Peace Corps Volunteers. It is rare for a training group to stay intact, and I believe our success in making it through these 3 months without losing anyone speaks to our dedication, perseverance and cohesiveness as a group. I am proud of my friends, this new family that I have come to love. Here is a written version similar to what I shared with my training group.

During my 2 trips to the hospital, I had a lot of time to think about my experience here in Guatemala thus far and my hopes for the future. Both times, I received a tremendous amount of support from concerned friends and visits and phone calls from my host family. It got me to thinking about the fact that people who didn’t know that I existed 3 months ago took the time to ask me how I was feeling, ask if I had any news, and, in general, try to lift my spirits.

I remember as I was leaving for the hospital the first time, sitting in the passenger seat waiting for Gregorio, our training director, to get into the van, I saw my host brothers. They were standing outside waving goodbye, and I will never forget the looks on their faces. The looks were of sheer terror and fear. I could barely stand to keep my eyes on them because of how unbelievably scared they looked.

Later on, after I returned to the house, my brothers came into my room. They told me that the last few days had been terrible because there had been no laughter like usual during mealtimes. Moreover, my host mother Doña Estela told me the next day that she and the boys had cried during dinner because of what had happened to me.
It was at that point that it really hit me. There are people here who truly care about me and who I really care about as well.

I may have come here of my own volition. I may have come here because I wanted to do something. Because I wanted to have an adventure. Because I wanted to have more experiences. Because I wanted to teach and learn from others, but I realize that I am staying here for others. I realize that the relationships I have built are based on real, human emotions, and that if I were to leave, to quit, I would not only let myself down, but I would let down my host brothers, my host parents, and my friends and staff in the Peace Corps. Quite frankly, I would let down everyone. And I know that I cannot quit on my new community.

I equate it to dealing with a child. Children know when they are being tricked and being treated unfairly. If you turn your back on a child, you seldom get a second chance. I know the same goes for my community. If I turn my back on them, there is no second chance. There is no do-over. No mulligan(that one’s for you, Tiger Woods). There is no coming back in a year when you feel that you are ready to adapt to a new culture. I know that I will not quit unless I have a DAMN good reason. To leave early would be a proverbial slap in the face to my community and to everyone whom I have grown close to. So, I am committed to the people I have met and the people I will continue to meet. I am committed to people. Replace the word, “people” with “service,” and, really, it means the same thing.